I couldn't stop crying most of today. It wasn't just one thing. Lots of things added up.
- Today we should have been moving Lorelei into her dorm room at OSU. We couldn't check Facebook or twitter without being reminded that the rest of her classmates are moving on to college while she seems to be stuck in cancer neverland.
- We visited with an fertility doctor today who told us the odds of Lorelei being able to have a child of her own are very low. Lorelei, who has devoted herself to purity until marriage may never be able to carry her own child, and yet some people get pregnant "accidentally."
- Dustin got his official deployment orders for Afghanistan this weekend and shared them with me today. He'll be leaving before Lorelei finishes her stem cell transplant.
- Hannah moved to St. Louis today for grad school. Her room is clean and empty and yet I wish it was full and messy like this past year. I don't know what I'll do without her.
- Lorelei's boyfriend Brad injured his knee in football practice. And that young man loves playing football more than any other young man I know. It breaks my heart to know how disappointed he must feel.
- My trusty 2003 Ford Taurus with 167,000 miles on it broke down today. I don't know if it will be possible to repair it and I know we can't afford to replace it right now.
- My living room has no couch. (One went to St. Louis with Hannah and one to Stillwater with Dustin.) There's nowhere comfortable to plop down and relax.
- Gretchen's been sick and couldn't come over to visit because we don't want to expose Lorelei.
- I forgot to get Lorelei's stitches removed last week. And today I couldn't get an appointment with the surgeon to remove them because his clinic computers were down.
- Kevin has a very important and busy week in his business and I'm of absolutely no help to him right now.
- Lorelei turns 18 on Sunday and I have absolutely nothing planned special for her. And she has to spend her 18th birthday knowing she'll report to the hospital the very next day (Monday) to start a second grueling round of RICE chemo.
Posted on Mon, August 13, 2012
by Andrea Decker