Gone

They say there's no camaraderie like the military.. They say there's no bond like the one you make with the men you went to war with. Maybe they've never been on an oncology floor. We wear masks and gloves instead of helmets for our protection. It is not our rifle that is always with us, but our IV poles. Our enemy is not hiding from us, but within us. Leaving each of us to fight the war on our own. An army of one, until we crawl our of our hospital room foxholes to cross each other in the hallway and connect like magnets.

One of, if not the biggest blessings on this journey has been the people I have met along the way. I have met people in many walks of life, many different circumstances, battling many things. Cancer families draw together and stick like glue. We can't help it. We are drawn to each other because we want to encourage each other as badly as we need encouragement. When fellow cancer warriors say "I get it. I've been there, I literally know how you feel. Hang in there," it's like your sanity finally catches its breath again. A friend. A friend who understands to the depths of their soul.

On the transplant floor I met a girl named Elisha. She had a transplant too. We got to talk quite a bit, mainly during physical and occupational therapy. At first Elisha was facing setbacks. Then she was facing eternity. One day she looked at me and said "I just need hope, you know?" Man, did I know. I knew with that type of know where you know deep down to the depths of you. Hope.

I had the blessing to buy a bible for Elisha and tag and highlight all of the verses in the bible that gave me hope. She received Hope. Hope that transcends this earth! Elisha was fighting through a complicated transplant and today we got word that she wouldn't be fighting much longer.

Like I said, one of the biggest blessings along this journey is meeting wonderful, wise, beautiful, kind, good people. One of the hardest parts of this journey is losing them. I make the best friends.. We get each other, we understand. They're just like me.. And then they're gone. I'm angry and I'm confused and I'm scared. Why does this happen to the most wonderful people? Why have I been to so many of my friends funerals?

I find consolation in the fact that even though it seems they have lost their battle against cancer, truly, they won it. They have overcome! They are healed and whole because they are living with the Lord of all who had beaten death itself, who has overcome the whole world.

It's a chilling reminder of the briskness of a lifetime. Just like me, just like you, and they're gone. Gone from our world, to be with the Giver of Hope. To us they are gone but we know they are home and healed.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19

14 comments (Add your own)

1. Lori wrote:
Brother Ray calls it, "knowing in your knower."

Love you, Baby Girl!

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 10:49 AM

2. Trish wrote:
You are beyond being inspirational to me, you are a constant reminder of our Father's love and the everlasting hope that is Him. You are a special girl and a true embodiment of what faith really is. You are in my prayers daily!

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 11:06 AM

3. Suzanne Dillow Watts Parker wrote:
Loreli, beautifully written, and I am Madison (Maddy) Watts grandmother, so I totally understand where you are coming from, yes, our Maddy lost her battle, but as you said we know she is with God in Heaven and the Cancer is gone! We all continue to pray and hope that you can win yours against the enemy of cancer.

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 11:11 AM

4. Ty wrote:
Lorelei. You are truly a God given miracle to this earth. You have done nothing but kept your faith and through all your faith came hope and eternity. Your story inspires me and many many others. I always take time out of my day just to read any updates on you and your crazy journey. One thing forsure is that The Lord lives inside of you and i can Plainly see it. You are beautifully and wonderfully made in his eyes. You are perfect to him. Im continuing to pray for you always!!! Love you Lorelei! Many blessings to you!

Exodus 14:14
The Lord your God will fight for you, you need only to be still.

Psalm 20:1-4
May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob protect you! May he send you help from the sanctuary and give you support from Zion! May he remember all your offerings and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices. May He Grant You Your Heart's Desire, and Fulfill All Your Plans!

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 11:18 AM

5. Marianne Jerome wrote:
May God Bless you Lorelei as you have blessed me with your honesty and truth. My husband recently underwent a stem cell transplant in Oregon at the OHSU. My friend shared your blog in hopes that it would help me. You have blessed my world too. I know what you speak of. We met many wonderful people on the Knight Cancer Institute 14 K floor. Knowing others are going through this process helps us get through it and having the Word of God is the best. I know because I spoke that I was reading my Bible and everyone else there was too. If we focus on God's Glory, kingdom, and power, than eternity will be ours my dear. Bless you and your family, our family, God's family. Thank You for being Gods servant and modeling the behavior that is Christ like. I am sorry for your losses and pain. We are all being tested and you are being tried and are a faithful servant.

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 11:18 AM

6. Darlene Bender wrote:
Lorelei, you are amazing, beautiful and strong. I pray that God continues to heal you and your friends. Praying for Elisha and her family. Baby girl is looking to the heals. Remember whatever battles we fight its not ours its the Lords. He will see you through. Keep your head up baby girl i love you.. You tell the devil he''s a lie. You tell the devil to get up off you NOW. Be blessed

When you get time listen to Yolanda Adams Be Blessed (don't live life in distress, just let go let God, he'll work it out for you, my prayer that your soul will be blessed)

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 11:26 AM

7. Jill wrote:
Lorelei -- I have learned in life that it is not our experiences in life that matter, but how we handle them. You handle yours with Grace and Love, and I am inspired -- as are hundreds (or more) of others who follow your journey here or through your mother. Your Faith in the Greater Good is clearly unquenchable, and I am amazed at the Strength you so selflessly offer others through your own painful journey.
Sending Light, Love, Blessings and Peace.
Always.

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 12:12 PM

8. Kelly wrote:
You are such an inspiration to so many. Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing with the world. You bring a lot of perspective and blessings to so many. xxoo

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 1:58 PM

9. Tina wrote:
All I can say is I love you. Your are such a special young lady. Even though I've only seen you through being at north. You are a light in a world that can be so dark. Thank you for all that you do thru your writing inspirational words. Also for allowing us to be on this journey with you.

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 6:58 PM

10. Lesa wrote:
Beautifully touching. You are so articulate and rich in insight. You're amazing and strong. We can't even begin to know how much you've touched the lives of others even while you're in the fight of your life! Truly amazing!

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 8:28 PM

11. Lisa wrote:
You are such an inspiration!
I have followed you since you became.
a Thunder coach! I consider you a friend!! God
Bless you sweet child!

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 9:43 PM

12. shelly whb wrote:
Lorelei. ..
I read your words and see you as a leader for your families and friends . As you told me at the beginning of your journey.....God has a plan for you and the cancer........you are leading so many to Christ....You are a sweet child......young woman and friend. I love you. Abide in Him

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 10:04 PM

13. Chery wrote:
Hi sweet Lorelei. I am a friend of Elizabeth Coppenger. My husband and I go to her Mom and Dad's church and Home Team. In 1992 I needed a Bone Marrow Transplant. My brother offered his bone marrow, but it turned out they could withdraw my own, freeze it and reintroduce it three weeks later. I have attended the weddings of both our children and we now have five grandchildren. May you be healed, in Jesus' name! and have many more grandchildren than me and grow to be a very old lady. Your writing, your faith is a beautiful gift. Chery Emmer

Wed, September 11, 2013 @ 10:05 PM

14. Mark Stapp wrote:
Well said, Lorelei! Hard to understand, but God often uses our suffering and hardship to bless us ... with friends, encouragement, hope. Romans 8:16-18 (NIV) "The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." So sorry about your friend. Continue to pray for you!

Thu, September 12, 2013 @ 6:51 PM

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